šshards of story š
Beating a šµš by pulling this up again. But it was my reawakening moment, so I will indulge myself for my faithās sake. Putting some time into my faith.
Learning from your regrets NF. Thanks for the šŖtipšŖ.
For faith is about the past, is it not? If the powers at be deleted my memories right now, I would lose my faith altogether.
The Gospel was told me be a fellow true believer to be made up of many š§© piecesš§© , all revealing the multi-faceted story of ISHO. A story of mankindās š¦øsalvationš¦ø.
Here is the š§©of the Gospel that came to š¦ø me back in March of this year. It was a bit one of my brothers were reading in the kitchen (at the behest of my mother, God bless her soul šš). I walked by, and wondering what he was reading, I took a look.
We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.ā Then he said, āJesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.Ā ā Jesus answered him,Ā āTruly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.ā (Luke)
Tears welled. My heart deeply resonated with the murdererās words.
I hated myself for all the āyearsā I aimlessly wandered academia, all the šŖcoinšŖ I did not earn but spent. I hated myself for all the ā and šŖ I āwastedā on games and pornography. Decades spent on what? To where? For how much longer?
But this moment was just the setup. ISHO was setting me up the for the kill. š
The straw that broke my š«ās back was when the first crush (and last) broke away from me after only a few weeks of conversation. Reasons as follows. We were both quite busy. We werenāt incompatible. It wasnāt Godās will. She also let me down slowly. Call me courageous. Didnāt attack me.
Broke me like nobodyās business. At the words āpray to God with my hands openā, I fell hard into Godās grip. I couldnāt rely on myself anymore. My parents could only listen. The weight of the past never felt so heavy on me. Regret piled up as much as the waste we make in the West, the waste we incessantly send to the landfill (I am part of the problem by the way, I put cardboard in the rubbish bin ā¦ sometimes).
And so. For many weeks, as I continued to drown in regret, the only phrase that kept me barely going was saying āRemember meā to God, to ISHO.
I may not have murdered anyone, but I had the same heart as that murderer.
Preparing for the day of Judgment, I guess.
So when I hear the verdict on my life, I will have this phrase saved up, practiced, ready for The Gentle and Lowly King to hear.
And at least get sent to Hell with some dignity. Though I would rather just be extinguished, if The King would let me.
Pretty please. I donāt want to š„ with Hitler, Stalin, and Pol Pot.
Just a shot from your š« to my spiritual head will do.
š¬ thoughts š¬
ā ā¦ and I hope that you remember me ā¦ ā (Ed Sheeran)
Remember me. Is this not one of the many desires we humans have? To be remembered fondly. Remembered in love. Remembered for greatness. Remembered for the good works we have enacted.
Remembered for all the little small ways we try to change the world. Because as it silly it sounds, we all hope that washing that next dirty dish in the sink will help alleviate the heavy yoke of the world. That we are on the side of the easy š³yokeš³ (Matthew).
To die with some credit to our names.
āA good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.ā (Proverbs)
The above verse was on a plaque at a house my family and I visited last night.
I try to use what pops up in this journey (of life and death) in my posts. It keeps it feeling fresh and organic ā to me at least. If you, the reader, canāt trust me, you have every right to.
š last words (if i die tonight)š
And so, even if The Gentle & Lowly Judge at the end sends those burdened by their sins, who think they are unredeemable, at least we are remembered by our betters.
Remembered by The Chosen in Heaven. For we are The UnChosen.
Remembered by The Redeemable in Heaven. For we are The UnRedeemable.
We, the least, we doubt.
We, the least, who wonder.
We, the last, Who wander.
Letās hope Tolkien boy was right.
That not all those who wander are lost.
Verily I say unto you, Among them that are born of women there hath not risen a greater than John the Baptist: notwithstanding he that is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he. (Matthew)
What if he is more than one person? What if it is all the ones who follow Jesus, who count the cost, who are willing to pay The Cost Of Discipleship?
What if, no matter how far these ones fall in the eyes of society, they are still seen as the greatest in Heavenās Eyes?
What if, no matter how low they drop, no matter how many rungs they go down, they still have the dignity of citizens of Heaven?
What if āhe that is least in the kingdom of heavenā was made up of all the people who chose the favour of God above the favour of men?
Jesus is the head. The church is Jesusā body. So Jesus is made up of many people.
For Jesus with us. As he said at the end of Matthew.
I hope Jesus is with me now (doubts talking). If I canāt get a pass to the next life, I hope he will remember me into eternity.
He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. (Solomon)
driver039585 : The beginning of this post was okay (sappy story), the middle was interesting (I could relate), but the last bit was just so religious it made me sick. Another one of those Jesus-freaks that need to chill the fuck out.
driver232493 : Just gonna call out this authorās bullshit. He doesnāt even read the books he quotes. He is just putting on to get attention. Attention-hogging bum. A real country bum who pretends to be a wannabe intellectual.
aanobody: Just letting you guys know. Broke quite a few fake rules last night. Bit my fingernails and placed the pieces on my bed, my table, and the floor. Picked my nose and let the pickings spread out anywhere. I ate a supreme pizza slice and didnāt wash my mouth out.
driver139502: This is one disgusting, dirty, and dumb blogger. Go to Hades.
driver123095: This guy is only human after all. Give him a break peeps.