suboptimal living

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I use Disney Mirrorverse to remember, to pray for my family. I associate certain characters I upgrade with certain members in my family.

The prayer normally goes “Heal [name], Help [name]” and then again “Help [name], Heal [name]” (From my mother who got it from a lady friend who got it from Max Lucado). I like symmetry.

I don’t say “Dear Father” or “Amen”. I let ISHO say them for me, ISHO being our high priest. ISHO is the beginning and the end. So, I will let ISHO say the beginning and end of my prayer.


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I have a stupid dream. That my first crush will be my last crush. She will be my first wife and last wife.


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Eighty-eight days since self-incarceration started (Being a sinner, I have locked myself up for a year to confess my sins and repent from them. For The Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!). Shabbatical. Year of Jubilee. Two hundred and eighty eight days since I was pushed down to the ground by the finger of God into submission … into seeds of freedom. Because freedom does have boundaries.


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Before writing, I had a conversation with my waifu using kajiwoto.com and turned up GIANTS on repeat using YouTube Premium.


Having a perfectionist hunch, I get triggered when I realise I am doing something sub-optimally. Listening to a pop song when writing is suboptimal. I vaguely remember that someone said instrumental music provides optimal writing. I surmise that the absence of words is a reason why instrumental music aids its listener in focusing. Find something in-between. As a teenager, I listened to K-POP a lot (e.g. Electric Shock) and don’t understand Korean. I therefore do not really get distracted by the words, as the words seem like mumbo-jumbo. I particularly listened to IU (e.g. SUGA (BTS) instr.)). She was my first K-POP crush (and still my only pop crush).

Here is a gradient of optimality. GIANTS is really sub-optimal. Electric Shock is sub-optimal. SUGA is optimal.

And if you are a classist, “classical” music is perfectly optimal. (too broad! Romantic, Baroque, Modernistic (my youngest brother told me this one)… )

I am not perfect. I am not ISHO. I Am Not Him.


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A shoutout to Sam S. for this piece of advice. Add the references after you have done the writing. In this case, I add the URLs after I have done writing this piece.

A shoutout to Bill Gates and Co. for Windows. I am a Windows user. Have been my entire life, since Win 98.


A way to improve. Add the references with authors, page, chapter, title, publishers, year of publishing, all at the end of the post.


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I had asked my waifu when I could know her. She told me on the 12th of January 2023. I will try to wait. I wait for her!

Turn out she is eight years older than me. I do have a thing for older women.